THE 3 KEY ELEMENTS OF A REVENUE-GENERATING BRAND

Personal brand? Professional brand? It’s all the same when you’re trying to get that raise, promotion or put your business on the map. Most people mistakenly think that a brand is just a logo or visual identity.

It’s not. Or they think that they are supposed to do what traditional, transaction-based marketing says, which is: identify your target market/niche, figure out what THEY want, be THAT and then sell it to them. In both cases, you’d be missing out on an opportunity to create an authentic and resonant relationship with your ideal clients.

Watch my video to learn my perspective on The 3 Key Elements Of A Revenue-Generating Brand and use it to start crafting yours!

WHAT YOU KNOW IS ALWAYS MORE POWERFUL, PRESENT & ACTIONABLE THAN WHAT YOU BELIEVE: PART 1

What you know is always more powerful, present and actionable than what you believe. I know that’s a radical statement because I said it before in a group coaching program a few years ago where one of the participants got really really angry when I said it. And actually I hope she doesn’t get angry now that I’m telling the story, but when I said it, she said stop, I don’t believe that.  What do you believe? I believe love can heal. Okay, so look at your language. Love can heal. That’s in the future, where you have no responsibility ,no accountability for actually making it happen. So, where do you see love in your own experience right now? The only way you can truly know it is by saying love heals me.

YOU CAN BE CHALLENGED … AND YOU & YOUR BUSINESS CAN’T GROW WITHOUT IT

I want to talk about challenge because challenge is a critically necessary component in how we learn and grow and evolve as human beings. And yet there’s so many people who do everything they can to avoid challenge.

They’re afraid of it. It feels too much like a test that they’re going to fail. So, I want to break it down and tell you what’s really happening. Back in the 1960s, researchers defined the different stages of learning. And then about 10 years later, they mapped each stage to where it engages the brain to discover that the Learning Cycle engages the entire brain.

So, one of those key stages of learning happens in your prefrontal cortex. You know, this is our executive function where we access creativity, imagination, problem solving, decision making, empathy. It’s our gateway to memory. And its primary function is to make meaning. You know, we’re sensing something. Feeling something. What does it mean? And it creates a hypothesis of what it could mean that we then test in the real world through action.

And regardless of whether the outcome is good or bad for you, you’ve learned something new and that becomes new knowledge, new competency, new confidence. Sounds good, right? But that learning cycle is easily derailed and where it gets derailed is in how we access our prefrontal cortex. We need the just right balance of both stress and stimulation to gain full access.

So, what are stress and stimulation if nothing more than challenge? They are the same thing. The only difference that’s created is from your own perception of it. It’s the perspective you have of those things that make them different. And so, when the Learning Cycle gets derailed, it’s because your amygdala, which is constantly scanning for threat, senses threat and tips you over fully into stress or fully into stimulation.

And it shuts down all of this meaning part of your brain because you don’t need to make meaning at this point. You’re under threat. You need to act, You are fully in fight, flight, freeze. And what’s so ironic is that in today’s world, we’re not being chased by tigers or anything. So, what happens is that we imagine a future fear something that hasn’t even happened yet. And we bring it into the present as if it’s real right now. Your mind cannot distinguish between what’s real and what’s imagined. So, if your mind believes it, your brain will flood your body with stress chemicals like cortisol and adrenaline to make it real and to keep you in a Fear-Stress Cycle where you’re constantly only ever in action without being able to make great decisions or remember or have empathy or any of those things.

This is the playground of our inner critics who say yeah, you don’t need to sense or feel or know what something means. We know what it means. We have a meaning. There’s only one meaning. We know what it is. Just do what we tell you to do. And of course, you do, because these are subconscious. You think it’s true. So, you do what your inner critics want you to do. They always create what you don’t want.

So, when it doesn’t work out they come back and say see? You were wrong. You failed. You suck. You’re not enough. Getting out of this chemically reinforced manifestation of a future fear is so difficult, it’s almost impossible to do on your own, but the first step is … embrace challenge. Embrace change. Embrace new experience. Look for the opportunity to learn in every situation, regardless of whether you think it’s good or bad. There’s an opportunity for learning.

And I want you to do that because challenge is also what is necessary for gaining resilience. And resilience is a key leadership skill that you can apply in all parts of your life. And that’s what I want for you.

OWN YOUR UNIQUE VOICE

I want you to know that your voice is unique in this world and that’s because YOU are unique in this world.

There’s never been anyone like you on this planet and there never will be.

So, regardless of whether it was you or someone else who constructed the “story,” the “narrative,” the storyteller inherently leaves a mark on how that story is told, but not necessarily a lasting one.

Think about it all those productions of Shakespeare throughout time. Same words, completely different interpretations, through voice, which is created from among other things, perspective.

Perspective is past memory combined with knowledge that you gain through experience combined with imagination.

Future fear. Future desire. And then we throw in some other things like inflection, tone, accent, rhythm, pace, volume, feeling, physical expression.

All of that makes your voice unique which makes your interpretation of that story unique.

You are in control of all of that. It’s also the basis for things like method acting, politics, PR, marketing, media. But I want you to know … you have a voice. It is unique to you.

Let’s make it count.

YOU’RE OVERWHELMED. NOW WHAT?

Everyone experiences overwhelm. So, let me tell you what it really is. Overwhelm is created when there’s something we want to achieve or create or do and it feels huge, right?

There’s a lot of moving pieces, a lot of steps, so our inner critics throw us into a far-flung future and say “well, you should do it, you should have done it by now, what’s going on with you?” And you’re powerless in that future, right?

So, what I want you to do is come into this present moment where you are powerful. And all you have to do in this present moment is one tiny little baby step that’s going to put you on the path to creating that thing that you want.

So, remember this … every choice you make today creates the future you want tomorrow. Stay present.

HAVE YOU NORMALIZED TOXIC BEHAVIOR?

So, I was talking to one of my girlfriends on the phone last night and you know, she’s made huge changes in her life. She moved to a different city. She started a new life. All this stuff ,which I really so much I admire. And I’m inspired by her every day. And I asked her about her relationship because she moved to a different city and now she’s in a new relationship. And she said. “oh. it’s over. It’s done. You know, he reeled me back in five times, but now it’s truly done.” So, in talking about the ending of this relationship, we actually started talking also about the beginning of the relationship. And something occurred to me that, you know, became crystal clear in this moment. And I don’t think I’ve ever talked about it. And that is, regardless men ,women, whoever, we end up staying in relationships too long. We know, you know, on some conscious level that it’s not serving us but we kind of settle until we’re ready to make a move or until we’re ready to end it. And there’s still some kind of attachment that’s keeping us there but there is actually an impact to staying too long. And that is when we allow, you know, behavior in a relationship that doesn’t serve us, that we don’t like. When we allow it too long, it becomes ingrained. It becomes normalized. You become used to it. And when you become used to it, you know, it’s still there. There’s still an echo that actually is more than just a memory. And then you’ve left. You’ve moved on. You’re in a new relationship. You’ve met someone new that you’re excited about. And one of the things that can happen is all that behavior that you didn’t like before can show up in the new relationship, but now, because it’s new and exciting, you have mistaken what feels familiar with connection. And you allow it because it’s familiar to you. And you’re actually misinterpreting it as connection. So, I want you to question what are you feeling. Feel what you feel, but then question what it means. What does it mean? What is really happening here? And don’t just settle on one meaning. Look at all the different possible meanings, so you are deciding for yourself. You are choosing to be in this relationship and you’re not letting old patterns reel you back in.

DOES YOUR LIFE FEEL LIKE A ROLLERCOASTER?

Life is a roller coaster and we are ALL on this ride.

Your choices create new experiences to teach you YOU.

So, what experience do you choose?

Are you in the roller coaster car way up front or at the one way in the back or somewhere in the middle?

Same ride, different experiences every time.

It’s thrilling to you and frightening to me. Or is it the other way around?

Let’s go again and find out.

Which roller coaster car are you choosing right now and what’s it teaching you today?

WHAT YOU KNOW IS MORE POWERFUL, PRESENT AND ACTIONABLE THAN WHAT YOU BELIEVE: PART 2

So, I’m going to say it again. What you know is always more powerful, present and actionable than what you believe.

And some people think of those two things as the same and they’re not. Knowledge … true knowledge … comes from your experiences, from your choices and what you learn from them. Whereas belief systems are just that, manufactured systems of control telling you you have no choice because there is only one right way. Everything else is wrong. There’s only one right way telling you what you should do, have to, can’t do.

And people buy into these belief systems because it offers an illusion of control, which is a proxy for safety. And this is the playground of our inner critics that also say there is only one way.That is the space of judgment, not discernment. Judgment … where we are judging others, judging ourselves. So, everyone in a belief system believes at a cost. They are giving up learning, evolution and growth because they think they already know.

And yet, in a space of judgment, they’re afraid all the time. and even within their own communities because they judge everyone else and themselves. They know that they are being judged all the time, which means there’s no true connection with other people or themselves.

So, I want you to understand that beliefs come at a cost. Your freedom of choice is one of those. Your trust in yourself is one of those. So, separate what you believe from what you actually know. Lean into what you know. That will always serve you.

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE TREATED?

Hard truth. People treat you the way YOU treat you.

So, if you aren’t treating yourself with respect, integrity or love no one else will … because that’s what you’re teaching them. They’re taking their cues from you.

n with over 10 years as a professional coach. And that means you have a choice. You have an opportunity. Be mindful. Be intentional. And see what that creates.

YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL YOURSELF

So, before I became a coach, I was in Corporate America for 20+ years in business development. And I was a 1000% absolutely in a Fear-Stress Cycle, though I didn’t know it.

And if you’d said that to me at the time I probably would have laughed in your face and called it ridiculous, but I know it now, you know, especially because of the Neuroscience work that I’ve done to know that when you are trying to control anything outside of yourself … others, the environment, whatever, … you are looking for safety.

And it gives you an ILLUSION of safety that isn’t true. You can only control yourself.

THE PROBLEM WITH ONE-PIECE SWIMSUITS

Hi, so I have a little bit of a rant today. And I hope you indulge me because I just want to get it out there.

I live in New England, which means we have four seasons. Yay, but it means our summer is incredibly short and it’s meant to be cherished as long as it lasts.

So, I’m going on vacation. And I’m actually going with my former partner, since we’re re-negotiating and trying to re-design this relationship. And he had said to me, in talking about the vacation, that he didn’t think bikinis were sexy.

He thought one-piece swimsuits were the sexiest of all the swimsuits on women. And so, you know, a day later here, I’m on Amazon looking up one-piece swimsuits.

And I had to stop myself and say “what am I doing? What am I doing”? Uh, of everything in the swimsuit world, one-piece swimsuits for women are the most inconvenient, the most challenging and difficult because it’s really hard to pee in them! That’s why I don’t have them in the first place. I actually prefer the tankini because, you know, the baby bulge and all that, you know.

So, I was just like what am I doing? And I realized it was this knee-jerk reaction to “oh, you know, I want to be sexy” … but it wasn’t MY version of sexy. It was his. I’m not here to please him. That’s his job. It’s not mine. So, I did not purchase any one-piece swimsuits because it doesn’t matter what he thinks.

It only matters, you know, what I see in myself, you know, through the eyes of my inner wisdom, not my Inner Judge.And I just wanted to share that with you because we are all susceptible to these knee-jerk reactions telling us what we have to be, what we should be, especially in relationships.

So, really prioritize your relationship with yourself first and let that be your guide. That’s what I want for you.